3 Ways to Know if You are a Trad Dad

Have you been called a Trad Dad recently? Do you dream about the glory days? Do you live vicariously through younger climbers? Wait, are you even a parent?

A Trad Dad can be many things, but to generalize, a Trad Dad is a climber who takes on a mentorship role. You don't need to climb too often or have some extensive climbing background, but you must engage in 'spray ', which is the act of talking excessively about climbing, particularly about how climbing gyms are ruining the purity of climbing.

Must a Trad Dad have Kids?

Not at all! Many Trad Dads need kids of their own. They hang around younger climbers and take on a mentorship role if they don't.

Younger climbers will hear complaints about why somebody bolted that one chossy crack or how all climbers were true 'dirtbags' back in the day. A 'dirtbag' is a term used to describe a climber who lives a minimalist lifestyle, often in a vehicle or tent, to pursue their climbing passion. Be patient with them; they don't understand that digital guidebooks can be confusing. Where is the print!?

A Trad Dad can also be a trad climber with children who want to keep his climbing dreams alive. He'll share his passion with his children and drag them up the same easy multi-pitch he's climbed a hundred times.

When asked if they can climb something new, the Trad Dad explains that this climb is the best in the world and that they don't need to climb anything else.

A Trad Dad in the Wild

How can you spot a Trad Dad at the crag? The signs are simple: look for the climber with ALL the gear.

If the helmet, clanging gear on their harness, and high-top lace-up climbing shoes have you questioning, look for the gear slings wrapped around their torso. Before you can even say "Hi," they'll ask where all the cracks are and if you have any beta.

After spending thirty minutes on the single 5.6 climb of the day, they'll crack a beer and hang around telling stories. Trad Dads are harmless, but beware, it's wise to keep your distance. Trad Dads trap you in conversation right after you tie in and tighten your climbing shoes.

How to Know if You're a Trad Dad

1. Constantly Reliving the Glory Days

Trad Dads love to talk about that one desert tower they climbed years ago. It was the wildest thing they'd ever done, and there's no chance you can understand the challenges they overcame.

It was 5.8 and consisted of some aid climbing. But they had a good reason for it! The sun was going down, heat exhaustion was imminent, and they were out of water!

A Trad Dad will find ways to incorporate their adventures into most climbing conversations. Usually unsolicited, you'll learn about when climbing was an activity for those on the fringe of society and how the Olympics are the opposite of what climbing is supposed to be.

2. Complaining About Climbing Gyms

You may even meet a Trad Dad at the gym, but that won't stop them from complaining about gym climbing. Give them a break; their yearly membership is how they stay in Trad Dad Bod shape.

If you get stuck talking with these creatures, you're going to hear at least one of the following:

● "You'd never find bolts this close together outdoors."

● "Bouldering is just a way to train for bigger ascents."

● "That move would never be found in the wild."

● "Where are all the cracks?"

● "Climbers are soft nowadays."

● "I remember when-" and then they'll say something that happened before they were born.

3. Hanging with only Younger Climbers

Don't worry—Trad Dads won't hurt you. But be careful—before you know it, you'll be buying a rack of gear and learning about anchor building.

A Trad Dad will often be surrounded by younger climbers who want to know what life was like before climbing was shown on T.V. They'll offer beta but explain how you can't use it on a specific climb they did once because your helmet would get in the way.

Trad Dads are an essential aspect of climbing culture. Without them, how are more Trad Dads made? Who will sit around the campfire and share their wild adventures before cell phones or Starlink?

Who is going to teach you how to place gear? You shouldn't pay somebody to teach you- they didn't have that luxury! Just buy a Trad Dad some beer and let them enjoy spraying all the information they've learned over the years.